Healthy couples are in a partnership, a sharing relationship.
Perhaps you have never really thought about this or discussed it between yourselves, but what does a partnership mean to you? A discussion of this may be insightful, surprising and fruitful.
Whereas there are certainly characteristics of a healthy relationship, such as each being considerate, responsible, loving, committed, loyal, trustworthy, honest, etc., each relationship is different as people are different. Not all people require and desire the same. That being said, compatibility is important as well.
Emotional and sexual intimacy is not about being joined at the hip. Yes, not every detail needs to be shared as this can be too much information and overwhelming. On the other hand, too little sharing creates a distance making intimacy difficult.
What is your idea of partnership? While exploring this, perhaps a new facet of intimacy and understanding can emerge.