Beverly Steinhauer // Professional Counseling and Mental Health, LLC

Specializes in therapy for individuals, couples and families struggling with sex addiction, CSAT

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Positive Affirmations: Changing Stinking-Thinking to Power Thinking

March 1, 2015 by admin Leave a Comment

We have heard different versions of the Bruce Lee quote,  “as you think, so shall you become.”

As children we internalize most every thing and come up with ideas about how we feel about ourselves, how we think others view us, basically our lens as to how we view our world. Unfortunately, these views are frequently negative, distorted and unrealistic. Unchallenged, as we become adults, we carry these views with us and they can become anxiety and stress provoking, as well as self-defeating and self-deprecating. We literally can’t get out of our own way and become our own obstacles to a healthy, satisfying life.

The good news is, these beliefs about one’s self are learned. What’s the possibility you misinterpreted and assumed incorrectly? Maybe it wasn’t you at all that was the problem. Perhaps we grew up being criticized by a negative, overly critical parent. Perhaps you were emotionally abandoned by a parent who was there in body, but not present emotionally, due to mental illness. There are a million scenarios as to the origin of your beliefs, but one thing is for sure. Children internalize and feel they are the problem and they deserve what they get. Children are all too sure they were not worthy or loveable, otherwise, the proof, they would have been treated differently.

If our behavior and views are learned, they can be relearned. Yes we know now the brain has plasticity, that is it can re-learn. This is where positive affirmations can be so powerful. When you take that negative thought, view, or idea, and flip it to the opposite, you have your positive affirmation. Instead of, “I could never be slim,” you would say, “I can be slim like that.” Instead of “no one will ever love me,” “I am loveable and worthy.” The more we repeat the affirmations, the quicker we build the new neuropathways. Yes, it takes time and consistency. Why look what you accomplished with the old distorted thinking and negative affirmations. They became bad habits. You can turn it around. So, write them down where you can see them. Say them out loud so you can hear them. Utilizing your senses helps to accomplish learning. Every day, have a positive affirmation that you repeat 200-300 times. Watch the change in your way of thinking. “As you think, so shall you become.” You are in control, make the change.

Filed Under: depression, gratitude Tagged With: affirmation, bad habits, belief about self, neuropathways, positive affirmations

Are You a Blamer?

February 23, 2015 by admin Leave a Comment

Have you ever noticed how some people are always blaming others for their problems and mistakes? Do they really see other people to be responsible or is something else going on? Listen to this short clip by Brene’ Brown for a different perspective.

Filed Under: abuse, addiction, codependency, positive psychology, sex addiction, trauma

Changing the Way You Think

January 21, 2015 by admin Leave a Comment

Remember…..the brain has plasticity. You CAN change the way you think.

Read this article by Rick Hanson, PhD
5 Ways to Rewire Your Brain for Happiness and Peace of Mind.

 

Filed Under: addiction, anxiety, codependency Tagged With: adjust the way you think, happiness, peace, rewiring brain

Persistence

January 20, 2015 by admin Leave a Comment

Persistence is key to anything one is trying to master.
Persistent healthy choices erode unhealthy behavior over time.
Great analogy.
Keep at it.

Filed Under: addiction Tagged With: persistence, quote

Sex is Fundamental

November 24, 2014 by admin Leave a Comment

Keyboard with suggestive word blocks representing online sexual behavior

Think about this. This makes total sense.
“Sex is Fundamental. It seems to be the area of life that most deeply touches our personal issues. Whatever problems we face in life sooner or later impact our sexuality. If we are chronically angry, the anger will eventually become sexualized. If we cannot tolerate closeness, we will fail at sexual intimacy. If we need to be in control, passion will elude us. If we have experienced trauma, we may repeat it compulsively through how we express our sexuality. If we are perfectionistic, sexual response will elude us. And, if we are so overextended and driven that all of our important relationships are abbreviated, sex will seem brief and overrated.

To put in in another way, we can hide with sex, we can hide from sex, but we cannot be fully ourselves sexually and hide. Our sexual behavior is a core expression of who we are. We do not change fundamental personality traits or beliefs when we become sexual. Issues that we have in general, we will also have sexually. No technique or method will change that.”
Sexual Anorexia — Patrick Carnes

Filed Under: addiction, anxiety, sex addiction, trauma, worry

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Life is a journey that sometimes requires assistance whether you are struggling with everyday problems or more complex issues. Your choice of Counselors is important. With over thirty years of experience in nursing and counseling, my approach is holistic, working with each client to give them hope, while bolstering their self-esteem and strengthening their ties with a supportive network. This is accomplished in a safe, confidential atmosphere of mutual respect, fostering sensitivity and understanding. My interest and training are diverse with advanced, specialized training in several areas. These sub-specialties broaden my scope of practice and capabilities to meet the individual needs of my clients.

Some areas of Interest and Experience include but are not limited to:
Sexual Addiction
Partners of Sex Addicts
Intimacy disorders
Relationship problems
Mood Disorders including Depression and Bipolar
Anxiety Disorders
Chronic Pain
Trauma Resolution
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Sexual Abuse
Incest
Adult ADHD
Teens and Online Addictions (i.e., Pornography and Gaming)

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Aren’t we all addicted to sex?

I recently heard this remark. Not sure if they were joking or serious. I think the best way to approach this question is to ask what constitutes an addiction. Merriam Webster defines addiction as: The compulsive need for and use of a habit forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly: persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful. With regard to sexual addiction, I have heard several definitions, but I deferred to Patrick Carnes and his explanation. “Sexual addiction is defined as any sexually-related, … Read More >>>

Why should I choose a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT)?

As a problem becomes more complex, it requires more specialized treatment. Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) are recognized as experts in sex addiction treatment. Often sex addiction has underpinnings of trauma and abuse. CSATs are trained to pick up on things that another counselor would perhaps not see.

Take a Screening Test

The Sex Addiction Screening Test (SAST) is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually compulsive behavior that may … Read More >>>

SIGNS & SYMPTOMS

There are many signs that point to sex addiction, below is a list of some symptoms and signs to watch out for: Loss … Read More >>>

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WE ACCEPT: Blue Cross and Blue Shield

    

© 2014–2025 Beverly B. Steinhauer
Professional Counseling and Mental Health, LLC
Beverly B. Steinhauer
MS, RN, LPC, CSAT, CMAT
bbs.pca@gmail.com
tel: 251-634-1990
Mobile, Alabama
Serving Mobile and Baldwin Counties in Alabama

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