Beverly Steinhauer // Professional Counseling and Mental Health, LLC

Specializes in therapy for individuals, couples and families struggling with sex addiction.

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In Crisis…What Now?

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I often see the betrayed spouses of sex addicts. They make an appointment and come in in crisis having just found out about their husbands infidelity via seeing a text on their phone, walking in to find him looking at porn, or becoming aware about an affair. They are confused, angry, hurt, in shock, and have no idea what to do. This is particularly traumatic when they are truly in love and surprisingly find out that the one person they assume has their back, is lying and leading a double life.

What should I do? What do I tell the kids? Is this for real?
Please, wake me when this is over!

The betrayed spouse may well be dealing with a sex addiction or a form of infidelity. With the marriage being threatened, the troubled spouse may comply and come in for help. There is much that can be done to help with porn addiction, cyber sex addiction, multiple lifetime affairs etc. Thanks to the renowned Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. and his work in the area of sex addiction since the 1980’s, we now know what it is and how to treat it. He has developed a task-based model. CSATs (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) have studied his model and become competent with this standard of care. We know it has worked extremely well for people struggling in these areas. Also, we know, the traumatized partner deserves a chance to heal from all she has been through with her mate. CSATs are trained to work with the partner as well. Whether she stays or goes, she needs a chance to process what she has experienced so that she may understand and move forward with a healthier insight of herself and the spouse in the future.

I have had patients in recovery refer to the worst thing in their life, turning out to be the best thing in their life. Basically saying, had they not gone into therapy with the crisis, they would not have had the chance to enter recovery and learn so much about themselves. This new found insight turns out to be conducive to a happier, healthier lifetime. Many couples do make it through the storm, stronger and closer. Do not suffer in silence. There is help for you.

Sex is Fundamental

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Think about this. This makes total sense.
“Sex is Fundamental. It seems to be the area of life that most deeply touches our personal issues. Whatever problems we face in life sooner or later impact our sexuality. If we are chronically angry, the anger will eventually become sexualized. If we cannot tolerate closeness, we will fail at sexual intimacy. If we need to be in control, passion will elude us. If we have experienced trauma, we may repeat it compulsively through how we express our sexuality. If we are perfectionistic, sexual response will elude us. And, if we are so overextended and driven that all of our important relationships are abbreviated, sex will seem brief and overrated.

To put in in another way, we can hide with sex, we can hide from sex, but we cannot be fully ourselves sexually and hide. Our sexual behavior is a core expression of who we are. We do not change fundamental personality traits or beliefs when we become sexual. Issues that we have in general, we will also have sexually. No technique or method will change that.”
Sexual Anorexia — Patrick Carnes

The Life & Rehab of a Sex Addict

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Some insight and brutal truth into the life and rehab of a sex addict. Although I feel this article slants to a more dismal description of rehab, the jest is a realistic depiction of the futility of sex addiction. Yes it is true, just as with a chemical addiction, the mind becomes hi-jacked and there is no stopping, each time wanting and needing that bigger and better high. No there is no cure, but yes there is hope. For the addict that truly wants a better life, the addiction can be managed. It is so important to find the right people, people that have devoted significant time and study to the specialty of treating sex addiction. CSAT’s (Certified Sex Addiction Therapists) are recognized as specialists in their field. In the process of recovery the addict will have a new insight and discovery of self as never before. He will learn how to truly experience intimacy, not intensity. You can’t finish, what you never start. A fulfilling, productive life is possible for you and those you love…

http://www.businessinsider.com/this-is-what-it-is-like-to-lose-everything-to-sex-addiction-2014-10

Yes this is a REAL ad on Television

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Wow! Yes, this is an advertisement for television. Looking for someone “other than my wife.” There are quite a few apps out there that provide the opportunity to find someone to be unfaithful with, actually promoting the opportunity. They really put it out there. What is your reaction to this?

Finding the Silver Lining

When faced with a crisis or adversity, know that you may well find a silver lining from the experience. Most of the time, the clients I see are in crisis. They are in such emotional pain or chaos that they are seeking help and wanting relief. Sometimes looking back in retrospect, we are fortunate to see that from some of the worst things in life, we experience some of the best things. With maturity and experience we can learn to recognize this when faced with adversity. Know that it is through difficulty, heartache, and sometimes suffering, that we truly grow. We find out so much about ourselves while becoming valuable to others. We … Read More >>>

Why should I choose a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT)?

As a problem becomes more complex, it requires more specialized treatment. Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) are recognized as experts in sex addiction treatment. Often sex addiction has underpinnings of trauma and abuse. CSATs are trained to pick up on things that another counselor would perhaps not see.

Take a Screening Test

The Sex Addiction Screening Test (SAST) is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually compulsive behavior that may … Read More >>>

SIGNS & SYMPTOMS

There are many signs that point to sex addiction, below is a list of some symptoms and signs to watch out for: Loss … Read More >>>

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© 2014–2020 Beverly B. Steinhauer
Professional Counseling and Mental Health, LLC
Beverly B. Steinhauer
MS, RN, LPC, CSAT, CMAT
bbs.pca@gmail.com
tel: 251-634-1990
Mobile, Alabama
Serving Mobile and Baldwin Counties in Alabama