Have you ever noticed how some people are always blaming others for their problems and mistakes? Do they really see other people to be responsible or is something else going on? Listen to this short clip by Brene’ Brown for a different perspective.
Sex is Fundamental
Think about this. This makes total sense.
“Sex is Fundamental. It seems to be the area of life that most deeply touches our personal issues. Whatever problems we face in life sooner or later impact our sexuality. If we are chronically angry, the anger will eventually become sexualized. If we cannot tolerate closeness, we will fail at sexual intimacy. If we need to be in control, passion will elude us. If we have experienced trauma, we may repeat it compulsively through how we express our sexuality. If we are perfectionistic, sexual response will elude us. And, if we are so overextended and driven that all of our important relationships are abbreviated, sex will seem brief and overrated.
To put in in another way, we can hide with sex, we can hide from sex, but we cannot be fully ourselves sexually and hide. Our sexual behavior is a core expression of who we are. We do not change fundamental personality traits or beliefs when we become sexual. Issues that we have in general, we will also have sexually. No technique or method will change that.”
Sexual Anorexia — Patrick Carnes
Finding the Silver Lining
When faced with a crisis or adversity, know that you may well find a silver lining from the experience.
Most of the time, the clients I see are in crisis. They are in such emotional pain or chaos that they are seeking help and wanting relief. Sometimes looking back in retrospect, we are fortunate to see that from some of the worst things in life, we experience some of the best things. With maturity and experience we can learn to recognize this when faced with adversity. Know that it is through difficulty, heartache, and sometimes suffering, that we truly grow. We find out so much about ourselves while becoming valuable to others. We develop a new level of empathy and understanding and can help others during their time of need. Although it is almost impossible to welcome hardships, it is unrealistic that you will make it through this life unscathed of such. So, when faced with a crisis or adversity, know that you may well find a silver lining from the experience. Perhaps this awareness will provide the encouragement that allows you to work through the tough times.
What is Positive About Positive Psychology
“In our era, the road to holiness necessarily passes through the world of action.” — Dag Hammarskjold
There is much to say for positive psychology. All too often we recognize what is wrong. Problems are easily identified. Criticism is abundant and sometimes brutal. This is the way of the world. Remember your last evaluation? Did they recognize your strengths, what you are good at? Take inventory of your strengths and weaknesses. Build on your strengths and passions. In other words, if you are not good in Math, don’t plan on a career in Engineering. Be realistic. Above all, develop a sense of Gratitude. Feeling down? Instead of ruminating about all that is wrong, stop and think about all that is right. Seem backwards to you? Give it a try. Really think about everything you have to be grateful for. (Bet you don’t do that very often.) More than likely, you will feel more hopeful. Retrain your brain. Oh yes, it can be done. We now know, the brain can be retrained. Unlearn the old, relearn the new. Positive affirmations instead of the personal sabotage you have engaged in for years will be necessary. You want change? You have to change something. Repetition of past behavior and thoughts will only insure the same results. You have everything to gain including a new perspective. Trust me, there is a domino effect here, for you and all around you.