Beverly Steinhauer // Professional Counseling and Mental Health, LLC

Specializes in therapy for individuals, couples and families struggling with sex addiction.

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You are here: Home / Archives for depression

Seeing a Therapist….

July 22, 2015 by beverly steinhauer Leave a Comment

The thought of seeing a therapist makes many people uncomfortable. This is understandable as you go to talk about things that are stress producing, hurtful and troubling. It is difficult to walk into a stranger’s office and speak of heart felt, private issues. Counseling really is a unique experience. In my office you need to know you are in a safe place, you will not be judged, my ideas and values will not be imposed on you and everything we talk about is and will be confidential. It is your Vegas, just like the old commercial, “what happens in Vegas …stays in Vegas.” Confidentiality is the essence of counseling and allows it to work.

When clients come in for session, they have usually exhausted their resources and feel they need help, say a new perspective, options or a plan. Together we sit down, talk and decide what works for your particular needs and situation. Sometimes clients know exactly where the problem lies, but are not sure what to do about it. Other times, they know there is a problem, but have no idea what is causing it. Either way, training and experience come into play and with a collaborated effort, we will work through to resolve your issues to a happier, healthier state of well- being. This is accomplished with individual, couples, family therapy, or sometimes an appropriate combination.

Remember, “Life is hard.” There is no shame in having problems. You are not unique in that regard. It is sad and potentially tragic  when people continue to live in the shadows of their problems, afraid to confront them, continuing to push them down in an effort to deal with them,  consequently affecting their marriage, work and all aspects of life. Often the frustration and pain is too much and they begin to self-medicate. They will do any thing to escape these feelings. Your body hurts from depression and anxiety. For some, escaping to alcohol, drugs, sex, work, porn etc., feeling an intermittent reprieve, can escalate to an addiction. Before you know it, you have even bigger problems than before.

There is help. Find a good therapist, someone you can comfortably talk with that has the training required to help. I would be happy to meet with you and talk.

Filed Under: addiction, anxiety, confidential help, depression, pain, sex addiction Tagged With: addiction, alcohol addiction, anxiety, certified sex addiction therapist, Confidential help, depression, drug addiction, Find a therapist, Get help, porn, sex addiction, work addiction

What is addiction?

June 27, 2015 by beverly steinhauer Leave a Comment

There are many ideas about addiction and what it is.  Dr. Gabor Mate’ gives a very reasonable explanation of addiction.

http://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/what-is-addiction-gabor-mate/

Filed Under: abuse, addiction, anxiety, betrayed spouse, codependency, depression, pain, self awareness, sex addiction, trauma Tagged With: alcohol addiction, all addictions, anxiety due to addiction, Certified Multiple Addictions Therapist, chaos, crisis, cyber sex, cybersex, depression, drug addiction, emotional pain, loss, neuropathways, pain, pornography, sex addiction, trauma

Self-Awareness

June 1, 2015 by beverly steinhauer Leave a Comment

 These are simple words, but a large concept for some. Our lens (the way we perceive our world) can cloud or color our vision of ourselves. It is so hard to be objective when our emotions distort our interpretations of how we view ourselves and see our world. After all, we are a product of our experiences. Maya Angelo once said,

“ You’ll never remember what someone said, you’ll never remember what someone did, but you will always remember how someone made you feel.” There they are again, those feelings and emotions. So often we don’t really know what we are feeling. We just know how we are feeling. If it is bad, we try to escape those feelings quickly. How do you escape your feelings? Some people get really busy with work, cleaning, or a project. Some use alcohol or drugs. If this escape is a crutch, eventually they may develop an addiction. Some people just try not to think about it. How’s that working for you?

Jay Asher states, “But you can’t get away from yourself. You can’t decide not to see yourself anymore. You can’t decide to turn off the noise in your head.” As hard as you may try, those emotions are just there. You can develop some really bad habits and addictions trying to cope the best way you know.

Self-Awareness calls for introspection. Introspection takes time, sometimes painful, uncomfortable time. What causes you grief? C. G. Jung once stated, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves”. Perhaps this would be helpful, or maybe you already know what your problems are.

Identifying those triggers, those things in your life that act like a mechanical trigger in initiating a process or reaction by you, are essential. What triggers your painful, unpleasant thoughts that make you want to escape. Are you triggered by anger, a fight with the wife, money, financial struggles, or too much money? It is well worth your time to examine and answer this question. The Buddhist would suggest you respond to that question with an absurd answer, thus provoking a mental debate about the question. Look at options, talk with someone you respect, seek out a trained professional such as a counselor. Have some quiet time to think without the usual interruptions of the day. Invite opportunities to be alone with yourself. Take a walk and think, not ruminate (to go over in your mind repeatedly for an extended period of time, much like a cow chewing it’s cud)….., but think. Counter the negativity in your mind with just the opposite, the positive. Wear some good positive grooves in that brain to replace the old, redundant, distorted, negative ones. Meditate.

Some people hate being alone for the very reason that they may have to deal with themselves and their thoughts and problems. Rather than doing that, they prefer to be distracted by others, thus avoiding the realization of that which they would rather forget.

Instead of running from the emotions that haunt you, identify what they are, when they surface and what you can do to deal with them in a healthy way. If self-awareness is something you cannot accomplish on your own, healthy discovery in a safe place that offers confidentiality can be a good choice. Insight and self-awareness can lead to a happier you and a healthier sense of well-being.

Filed Under: abuse, anxiety, codependency, depression, positive psychology, self awareness, worry Tagged With: anger, anxiety, depression, emotions, insight, realization, self awareness, triggers

I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

March 25, 2015 by admin Leave a Comment

Life can be challenging. Depression happens. Depression is due to a chemical imbalance or is situational. What can you do? You are down, depressed, and nothing seems to go right. There you are in a hole and you have been here before.

Make an appointment with your therapist or talk to a best friend, someone you respect and can trust. Just talking can be cathartic at times. Are you on medication? Are you taking it as prescribed? Remember, medication doesn’t work unless you take it. Many times I ask clients are they on medication for them to reply yes, but it doesn’t work. My response is, “do you ever miss taking it?” They pause and think only to reply they miss it most of the time. Medication cannot be taken just here and there, whenever you remember, missing a couple of days between. It is not effective that way. Make a concentrated effort to put it somewhere where you will remember it. Getting back into a consistent routine will allow your medication to do its’ thing and give you a hand up out of your slump.

Sometimes you just have to come to your own assistance.

Get behind your self and push. What works for you? You know you better than anyone else. Waiting for someone else to make it right, complete your world, swoop in to make you happy is not reliable or realistic. You are in charge of you. You are the only one that can truly make changes in you. Meditation and mindfulness are both great at breaking this cycle of funk you are in. Get up, move, go outdoors. What brings you pleasure? What makes you happy? Seek those things out. Music is a great mood elevator. Turn it on in the house instead of the television. Watch what you choose to listen to as “Somebody done somebody wrong song” is probably not exactly what you need at this time. On the other hand, perhaps you need to give yourself a chance to identify and feel your emotions for a bit. Have a good cry if you feel like it. Now, it is time to pick your self up. No more sad songs. Choose something more upbeat. Find a doable task that you can complete and feel some accomplishment.

Absolutely, all of these things take effort, but is well worth it to break the cycle of the funk you are in. Remember…………………sometimes you just have to come to your own assistance. If you can’t get back in your grove, there is help. Find a good therapist or go back and see someone you have already established a relationship with that knows your history. Maybe you need more help than you are capable of creating for yourself. Making this effort can get you back into a healthier, happier state of well being.

Filed Under: depression Tagged With: being happy, depression, finding happiness, life is challenging, talk to a friend or therapist, what helps

Life is a journey that sometimes requires assistance whether you are struggling with everyday problems or more complex issues. Your choice of Counselors is important. With over thirty years of experience in nursing and counseling, my approach is holistic, working with each client to give them hope, while bolstering their self-esteem and strengthening their ties with a supportive network. This is accomplished in a safe, confidential atmosphere of mutual respect, fostering sensitivity and understanding. My interest and training are diverse with advanced, specialized training in several areas. These sub-specialties broaden my scope of practice and capabilities to meet the individual needs of my clients.

Some areas of Interest and Experience include but are not limited to:
Sexual Addiction
Partners of Sex Addicts
Intimacy disorders
Relationship problems
Mood Disorders including Depression and Bipolar
Anxiety Disorders
Chronic Pain
Trauma Resolution
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Sexual Abuse
Incest
Adult ADHD
Teens and Online Addictions (i.e., Pornography and Gaming)

ARCHIVE

Aren’t we all addicted to sex?

I recently heard this remark. Not sure if they were joking or serious. I think the best way to approach this question is to ask what constitutes an addiction. Merriam Webster defines addiction as: The compulsive need for and use of a habit forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly: persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful. With regard to sexual addiction, I have heard several definitions, but I deferred to Patrick Carnes and his explanation. “Sexual addiction is defined as any sexually-related, … Read More >>>

Why should I choose a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT)?

As a problem becomes more complex, it requires more specialized treatment. Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) are recognized as experts in sex addiction treatment. Often sex addiction has underpinnings of trauma and abuse. CSATs are trained to pick up on things that another counselor would perhaps not see.

Take a Screening Test

The Sex Addiction Screening Test (SAST) is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually compulsive behavior that may … Read More >>>

SIGNS & SYMPTOMS

There are many signs that point to sex addiction, below is a list of some symptoms and signs to watch out for: Loss … Read More >>>

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© 2014–2020 Beverly B. Steinhauer
Professional Counseling and Mental Health, LLC
Beverly B. Steinhauer
MS, RN, LPC, CSAT, CMAT
bbs.pca@gmail.com
tel: 251-634-1990
Mobile, Alabama
Serving Mobile and Baldwin Counties in Alabama

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